Feeling down x semene

urgh! such a boring weekend for me.
everything i do is clearly wrong!
not very self-motivated. maen volleyball pun cam malas je nk lompat.
what the hell is wrong with me?
is it because of my mata ikan berkembar yg menetap kat bibir aku ni sejak 4 ari lepas?
or is it because of the life i chose for me?

sometimes life just happen to chose me.

there's really nothing i can do [ok ni tipu]

i am lack of enthusiastic to do anything. my mind is like somewhere else. between the reality and fantasy.

i am sad. i am mourning for nothing. i am disappointed for all the expectations.

i have resume to finish. i am thinking bout my future. i am not ready for this. should i sambung doing master?
i have enough of research. not the kind of work i am good at (am i?).
i believe i have so much potential inside me. a lot. i believe it
but everytime i tend to talk about it. there u go~belambak2 la org menghancurkannya. maybe i am not in the circle where everyone support everyone. Mybe they are but as usual too difficult to show the expression.

mybe this is the sign of loneliness? am i lonely?
i mybe lonely but i dont really have problem in that area before.
mybe its evolotion that i need. mybe its just revolusi yg tolol.

mungkin aku kene potong rambut. this long hair cloud my decision.
aku resah. aku gelisah. aku mencari hikmah.

i am losing my hope for hapiness ending. there always possibilities for destruction.
happily married pun cerai.
i know optimis person will raise their hand and say " Hey, kita memang takkan tau ape yg jd, tp hidup kan singkat, so we live life to the fullest laa :)"

crap~

not the quote, but me. i know all the positive words, quotation but tend to slip my mind.

the only things that hold me to the ground is my family. my parents. love them so much and miss them. easy to write than to say.

i have a dream.weird one for anyone else but normal to me. does dream really interprete what we really want inside? yes i wrote 'want' cause it mybe we doesnt need it. or we want it so badly it became what we need. can it be like that??

all the stuff are mixed inside. kalo ade makcik2 bace ni mesti depe ckp "Ah! ko ni ngade la, baek ko bace Quran tu! kan penenang jiwa, da terang-terangan, kenapa seolah2 ko menafikan"

kita busy reading all the material bout the arrival, the dooms day, illuminati and bersungguh2 actually looking into that stuff. thats good. BUT solat cukup? Quran bace? Sunnah amal? solat sunat? how's ur lifestyle? tak gune jugak bace2 smpai lewat malam, pastu insaf terus tido tak solat isyak'. [??] this apply to me also.

so ini lah hasil nukilan bila pale tengah serabut. but i felt a bit better after write this. kekadang selalu je da tulis2 camni pastu terus close window. malas nk publish.

i always have better mood after ate good food. hehe.

ok nite~


Be Strong